Peace

Good morning, Community. To all the parents, caregivers, teachers, and lovers of children, I send out this message to you:

May you feel Peace inside of you today and always. May that Peace reach beyond your own body, into your family, and into your surrounding community.

I checked  out an illustrated children's book from the library back at the end of May. At the time, it really resonated with some things I was going through personally,  and I set it aside to copy quotes into my journal. The drawings are beautiful and the message was powerful,  but I did not realize just how powerful until I finally picked it up again today. After a month and half of continued mindfulness meditation practice and continued learning on the topic, I returned to the book with new eyes. It is so much more than a children's picture book, but rather a treatise on living for people of any age.

In "Peace," Wendy Anderson Halperin depicts the impact that human beings have on one another in an emotionally moving and artistically creative way. She uses over 80 quotes from a wide range of visionaries including Maya Angelou, William Faulkner, Desmond Tutu, Mother Theresa, Martin Luther King Jr., Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Confucius and many more. The notion that peace begins within and gradually grows to impact the world on a global level, is illustrated page by page with narrative that ascends and descends to ultimately portray the circular nature of interdependence.

I highly recommend you check it out. In the meantime, I will enjoy it as long as I can before someone else catches on to its magnificence and I need to return it to the library. When that happens, I'll definitely be acquiring my own copy. Thanks, Wendy Anderson Halperin.

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As an aside, when I opened up my email this morning, I learned that yesterday was Deepak Chopra's 2nd Annual Global Meditation for Compassion.  The idea of meditating for peace together with a community across the world feels powerful beyond words to me, and I'm a little sad that I missed it (although I had a wonderful day visiting with family, which I realize is an aspect of building peace in its own right). This may sound silly to those who haven't yet experienced what a few mindful minutes a day can do for one's own life. If that's the case, forget the global idea, but try it yourself... What's the gamble in carving out a few minutes each day to sit and do nothing, when the payout could be a more peaceful, enjoyable and dare I say more productive life? I hope you do...

A Still Quiet Place

I am really excited! I got the call from my neighborhood library last night that my inter-library loan arrived. Amy Saltzman, MD is a holistic physician who began using mindfulness with children when her three year old asked to meditate with her.  There are quite a few videos uploaded on YouTube, and several of them, including Finding Stillness and Still Quiet Place at Mind & Its Potential 2012, especially resonated with me. In the first video, Dr. Saltzman sits in a circle with elementary school students and after a group guided meditation they share out. I loved listening to the students sincere descriptions of how mindfulness affects their actions.  Not surprisingly, struggle with siblings is a common topic and the children report that mindfulness helps them change their actions. It was after watching these videos that I first got that feeling of, "Wow- I need to do this." What a privilege to be able to give more kids the opportunity to feel in control of their emotions.

The book is called, A Still Quiet Place: A Mindfulness Program for Teaching Children and Adolescents to Ease Stress and Difficult Emotions. Dr. Amy, as she is referred to in the videos, simplifies the definition of mindfulness: "paying attention to the present moment with kindness and curiosity."  The book contains an eight-week program for parents and professionals to teach mindfulness practice to young children through those in their teenage years. I've read that she includes many great ideas for adapting her activities for children in each developmental stage.

I'm anxious (I mean calm and peaceful!) to jump into reading and will report back soon. If you're intrigued, check out her guided meditation CDs available to listen to instantly with Prime in the Amazon Music App. On the CD, Still Quiet Place: Mindfulness for Young Children, track 13 is an adult intro that I highly recommend. She gives a great overview of mindfulness, it's benefits and practical application, and how to get started yourself.  Listen and share with someone else!

Beginner's Mind & The Early Years

In meditation there is a common phrase: Beginner's Mind. All things are possible with Beginner's Mind. Optimism and Excitement encourage us to dance like no one is watching. Rules and Guidelines haven't yet boxed us in or tied us down. We are free and open to new experiences, and it feels great. Making an effort to maintain this point of view can be challenging as we accumulate knowledge and skills. I am happy to say that I have a Beginner's Mind in my approach to Mindfulness with Children, and I plan to do my best to maintain.*

Children in early childhood are in their Beginner's Mind years of life.  Everything is fresh and interesting. Limits really are invisible to these little people. Think about a child set free to play- until adults impart boundaries and limits, kids will climb higher than they ever have before- every time! Just as adults can drift out of Beginner's Mind as they slowly become experts on a topic, children gradually leave the Beginner's Mind years as they progress through school and learn the rules of society.  School-age children can and do benefit immensely from training in mindfulness, but those in their early years have the added benefit of automatic Beginner's Mind, not just for mindfulness meditation, but for Life.

Our youngest children are ready for mindfulness, but it seems to me that they don't often discover it on their own. The ideal way for a young learner to first experience mindfulness would be to observe someone she knows, practice in her presence over time. She could then spontaneously play "meditation" as she interprets it, ask questions and develop deeper understanding at her own pace.  If you already have a meditation practice, by all means invite your little one to sit with you.  He probably won't have your stamina, but then again neither did you when you first began.  As you mindfully wash the dishes, or eat an orange as part of practice,  include your child by speaking your thoughts out loud. Ask for his input- "What does your orange smell like? How does the peel feel on your skin? What do you see as you gaze at your treat? What do you notice as we pull the segments apart?" 

As parents, caregivers and educators, we can provide these invaluable mindfulness tools to our kids from the very start as they navigate the world. If you don't already have a practice there are an abundance of resources available for free online or at your local library.  Enrollment in a Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction workshop is a wonderful  option that will change the way you view life in just eight weeks.  These workshops generally have a fee attached, but participation will lay a priceless foundation for sharing skills with all the children in your life. 

The benefits of mindfulness include increased focus and concentration, impulse control, emotional regulation, management of stress and anxiety, and more.  With early exposure and mindfulness skill building, children are able to embark on each stage of life better equipped to deal with the inevitable challenges that will arise.  I can't sum up the larger societal benefit any more clearly than Dr. Dan Siegel, author of The Whole Brain Child, in this clip, Discussing the Science of Mindfulness:

"Mindfulness is really a lifelong skill that can change the individual's life for the better- [change] relationships that that child has in his or her life... and in that way, one relationship at a time, improve the world."

I am encouraged by the possibilities of bringing mindfulness to more children in their early years. There are workshops available in select cities and many teachers are taking it upon themselves to bring mindfulness practice into their classrooms. As an early childhood professional who sees great value here, I strive to learn as much as possible. I will bring what I learn to you, first here on this website, and eventually through more hands-on options. Please feel free to comment or email with questions. I have only touched on what mindfulness is, so peruse the links and resources in the sidebar and ask away. I'd love to help you get started or deepen your practice of mindfulness with young children.

*A great take on living with Beginner's Mind, by zen habits: How to Live Life to the Max with Beginner's Mind

The Difference a Weekend Can Make

May 24, 2015

This weekend I have pretty much lived in my neighborhood park. The freshly cut grass,  the tall trees and the community of people surrounded by mild temperatures and a gentle breeze- a true oasis in the city! I feel as happy sitting here in the grass as I would sitting on a beach somewhere far away.  Maybe its purely the the effects of nature or perhaps the meditation and all the reading that make me feel so hopeful and content.  I've spent the last two days absorbed in a book lent to me by an amazing woman in my life. Its title is Voluntary Simplicity by author Duane Elgin. The book was first published in 1981, and was revised for the second time in 2010. Its themes are more relevant than ever and speak to me exactly where I am these days. The idea that we have the ability to choose to live a more simple,  less materialistic life... The possibility that it could just make some of us feel happier than a life filled with busyness & material possessions... especially since so many of the  quotes from people who answered a survey on living a simple life back in the 70s, seem like they could have been written today... if nothing else, this book makes me feel like I'm not alone in my right-now desire to live on the simple side- no car, low-stress 9-5, second hand clothes, real food, less chemicals.... its nice to feel part of a community.

Paying attention

As I continue to explore mindfulness in my own life and think about how to apply it to my practice as an early childhood educator, I recognize that a great many elements are things that I already incorporate daily into my work with children.  In fact, although I did not have the specific vocabulary before, I think mindfulness is the reason I chose this profession in the first place.

Jon Kabat-Zinn, the founder of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction  (MBSR), could be called the father of mindfulness. Many other experts in the field reference his work, specifically his definition of mindfulness: "paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally, to the unfolding of experience moment to moment."

I often share my story of how I came to love early childhood education (ECE) because in order to do it well, you NEED to be present.  My first position in ECE was at the Penn State Child Development Laboratory  (CDL) during my years as an undergraduate.  Although I first proclaimed my desire to be a teacher around the second grade with Mrs. Revelle,  I didn't go to preschool myself, and never before thought about working with children younger than school-age.  With just a semester of working only a few hours per week with infants and toddlers, 0-3 years, I recognized the therapeutic  value in the job. When I turned the doorknob of the Sense of Wonder classroom, high and out of reach of little hands, I was given permission to leave all my worries outside. The big exam coming up, the chapters to be read, and the dynamics of making new friends in a new town,  all got put on hold when I walked through that door. I was allowed- encouraged and expected actually- to smile, laugh, sing, dance, read, paint, draw, dig in the dirt, go down the slide, splash in the water, and use my imagination without interruption. If my task was to feed and help an infant take a nap, the only thing in the whole world I had to think about was getting that milk, soothing that baby, and making that rocking chair the most inviting place possible for that new little life in my arms. 

Fifteen years after I first entered the Sense of Wonder classroom, here I am, still working with young children and enjoying every moment of my life. There aren't many professions in which the job description includes: stop to smell the roses, gaze at the clouds in the sky, and close your eyes and listen to the sounds all around.  When I ask my young friends, "What do you notice?" I too, take notice. I am
"paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally, to the unfolding of experience moment to moment."

There is, of course, more to mindfulness than just being observant on a neighborhood walk. This realization that my manner of sharing the world with young children already falls within the realm of mindfulness, is beyond encouraging.

My LO continues to ask for the relaxation story and asked today to meditate on her yoga mat. We read the Peaceful Piggy Meditation book for the first time today and our one minute of paying attention to our breaths went great! A couple of days ago I noticed that she was a little more fidgety than normal and I asked if she could think of some things that she needs to do in order to relax and fall asleep. She came up with three: close eyes, deep breaths, stay still. Now, each day before we start relaxation story we set the tone by remembering the keys to relaxation.  As I sit on this park bench, in preparation for a mindful Memorial Day weekend without any children for whom to care, I remember the words of LO, "close eyes, deep breaths, sit still."

**Check out your local library :-)

Peaceful Piggy Meditation by Kerry Lee MacLean

Two foundational books by Jon Kabat-Zinn  (I skimmed through each,  but have not entirely read either yet)

Wherever You Go, There You Are

Full Catastrophe Living:  Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain and Illness

Our Relaxation Story

As I see how receptive LO is to all of the relaxation techniques I share, my excitement is building and I want to learn everything all at once- pretty typical me :-)  Before I delve into the pile of books and websites I've discovered, I want to step back and make sure sure I'm sharing practically. Perhaps you would like to try the bedtime relaxation story with a child in your life- well, here it is! 

The relaxation story/body scan I created  may or may not follow guidelines proposed by experts in the field. I'm not totally sure yet, but I do know that it has helped the kids in my life calm down and fall asleep and that's certainly worth something on its own!

Below is the typical script I follow and lasts about 6-7 minutes. I've also included an audio file with the slow, melodic tone of voice I have found successful.  My small sample size of three has shown children to either be asleep by the end or shortly after completion of the meditation.

I suggest you begin by having at least a few minutes of quiet reading,  singing or snuggling prior to getting your kiddo into bed.  Once in bed, tell your child that you will tell her or him a story to help the body and brain RELAX and REST. These are two key words repeated slowly throughout the meditation. I also preface the story with an intention, although I haven't called it this.  I state that we will RELAX and REST as a way to fall asleep and feel rested and happy upon wakeup. You can also tell your child that part of this relaxation is to close our eyes and try to remain still. Tell her that everyone's brain forgets sometimes and she might start to play with a soft toy, the wall, blankets, etc. Remind her that when she realizes that this is happening she can just bring her attention, lovingly, back to the story. You might even remind her as part of the body scan.

Take about three deep breaths with your child to help you both get settled. You can simply say "take a deep breath in.... and breathe out," modeling it yourself, of course.  Don't worry if your child doesn't do the breathing in the beginning- just keep leading by example and she will get it after a few days of repitition.  I usually add extra deep breaths or calm reminders to "close your eyes," where it seems fitting. 

Good luck and I'd love to hear how it works out when you try it :-)

Relaxation Story/Bed-time Body Scan script:

See bottom of script for audio file

Lay down and get comfortable. It's time to let your body and brain relax and rest.  I'm going to tell you a story that will help you fall asleep. Sleep is important for your body to grow and you will feel refreshed later on/in the morning.

Feel your whole body. Feel your whole body pressing against the bed. Relax and rest.

Pay attention to your head. Inside lives your brain. Your brain has made so many decisions today. It's time to let your brain relax. Feel your brain rest. (Deep breath)

Pay attention to your ears. They have listened to so many things today- the birds chirping and the leaves rustling,  city traffic, music played, and the voices of the people you love.  Its time now to let your ears relax. Feel your ears rest. (Deep breath)

Pay attention to your nose. It has smelled so many things today. Some wonderful scents and some not-so-wonderful scents. Its time now to let your nose relax.  Feel your nose rest. (Deep breath)

Pay attention to your cheeks. As you've smile all day the muscles in your face move up and down, up and down. Its time now to let your cheeks relax. Feel your cheeks rest. (Deep breath )

Pay attention to your mouth. You have used it so much today. To talk to friends and family, to taste your healthy food, to sing songs, and to kiss the ones you love. Its time now to let your mouth relax. Feel your mouth rest. ( Deep breath )

Pay attention to your neck. You have used your neck all day long. To look up at the sky, down at the ground, to look right, to look left. Let your neck relax. Feel your neck rest. (Deep breath )

Pay attention to your heart beating in your chest. All day its pumped  blood throughout your body: thump-bump, thump-bump, thump-bump. Its time now to let your heart relax. Feel your heart rest. (Deep breath )

Pay attention to your arms now. From your shoulders, to your elbows, to your wrists,  right down through your hands and fingers.  Your arms have been so busy today, lifting and carrying, waving and hugging. Its time now to let your arms relax. Feel your arms rest. ( Deep breath )

Pay attention to your belly. All the nourishing food you've eaten, and all that food that's being digested.  Its time to let your belly relax. Feel your belly rest. ( Deep breath )

Pay attention to your legs now. From your hips right down to your knees and then your ankles. Your legs have carried you everywhere you've traveled today. Throughout your house, outside to play, to school and to the store. Its time now to let your legs relax. Feel your legs rest. ( Deep breath )

Pay attention to your feet, right down to your 10 toes. Your feet have done so much work today, running and jumping, skipping and stomping. Its time to let your feet relax. Feel your feet rest. ( Deep breath )

Feel your whole body. Your whole body should be relaxed now. Feel your whole body pressing against the bed, relaxed and ready to rest.

5-10 Deep breaths and hopefully your child will at least be relaxed and still, if not fully asleep.

Just Breathe video

This beautiful 4 min video, told through the eyes of children, shows the power of mindfulness and the breath to regulate emotions. Would even be suitable for children to watch :-).  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVA2N6tX2cg

Soon to come: audio and script for the bedtime relaxation story

Nap time trick or Something More?

On a typical afternoon in April, I finished reading a pre-nap story with three-year-old Little One.  I then suggested we tidy up a bit before heading to bed.  The next three minutes of picking up books and toys, swiftly transformed her state from drowsy to over-tired/hyper. As the nanny, I was fearful that this would lead to a no-nap day, and an unpredictable evening with her parents.  Tidying up would totally not have been worth it. I shuffled through the files of possible relaxation tricks in my mind and pulled out a body scan meditation, calling it Relaxation Story. And so the tale of Something More, began....

As she settled down on that first day, laying still and falling asleep faster than usual, I noticed how relaxed I felt as well.  In the evening, I did the same body scan focusing on the breath with two other children I care for, and the results were similar- they visibly relaxed and fell asleep directly.  Perhaps I was on to something here. I decided to observe how the children would respond over time, and the results have been phenomenal.  It is now three weeks later and the children each seem to enjoy the Relaxation Story. LO, who I am with five days a week, asks for it by name.

Throughout the three weeks since that first nap time, I began to drop other mindful tidbits into conversations with LO. I introduced her to the idea of deep breathing as a strategy to feel calm during non-bedtime moments and we practiced mindfully eating a prune at breakfast.  We discovered the children's book Anh's Anger by Gail Silver at the library and she and her parents were immediately receptive.  I believe this book should be on the shelf of every child and early learning center to provide a means of identifying and coping with strong emotions (click here to see the beginning of the book read aloud).  LO initiated play on Friday that reenacted the plot of the book, extending the circumstances in which anger occurs, to her own life experiences.  She gets it!

Over the last five years I've attended spiritual-based meditation workshops, read various books on the subject and attended the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction program at Jefferson, but have yet to practice mindfulness or meditation on a long-term consistent basis.  I feel fortunate that these experiences provided me the knowledge and insight necessary to give this technique a try with the children in my care.  I am feeling calmer and more emotionally balanced myself, and am enthusiastic about all there is to learn in this area.  Regular practice is now a part of my day and I've bought and borrowed several more titles specific to using mindfulness with children. I'm excited to learn enough to teach others about the benefits of mindfulness practice in everyday life.  As I embark upon this exciting journey, I've decided to track my progress and collaborate with others in the mindfulness community using this blog.  Please feel free to drop me a note, make a suggestion or ask a question.  Peace.